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27 January 2006 @ 08:28 am
So I haven't written in a while which is actually surprising considering everything that is going on. Today is the last day of the first semester of my senior year, yes, I am almost done. This week has been finals and I am really looking forward to the weekend. Alot has been hapenning with friends but basically minus the ongoing gay boy drama, I'm having the time of my life. I turn eighteen in three months which of course I am totally excited about. My life seems to be back in order which makes me really look forward to the next step, college. I'm excited to be moving and to be turning eighteen, it feels as if my life is starting over, and thats a good thing. Senior ball is in like 2 weeks but I don't think I'm going, in a way no regrets. I am just really happy right now with the way everything is going, well not everything, but most things. So to all the people who have made the last couple months amazing (sadly I will probally forget some people in this):
Taylor, Aaron, Amber, Brandon, Harmony, Kim, Natalie, David, Gil, KAtie, Chris, Armondo, Chris, Clint, Katie, SLACK, Lindsey and yeah like everyone else.
You people are amazing. You've made the parties funner, the games more exciting, the bbq the shit and of course, you always know how to put a smile on my face.
Current Mood: accomplished
15 January 2006 @ 09:23 am
i have such mixed feelings i can't even take it. i don't think i will be drinking for a while and hopefully i can stick to that. i say that only because i think i ruined something. i think some of the things i said may have caused them to breakup, i only hope im wrong. i didnt mean to say them i didn't know what i was doing, i hate drinking. one of my best friends tried to kill himself the other night, he's such emotional baggage. it's just that he dosen't realize how much anyone really cares, how much his friends care, how much his boyfriend cared, how much i care. but like everything else in life i guess he will learn the hard way..why would anyone do all they could do just to end up alone? last night i was emotional and as always amber was there for me, infact as always her whole family was. they let me comeover at 2am to talk to amber about everything that was going, so much drama. i can't take it. i feel like a bad friend. where do i go from here?
Current Mood: drunkdrunk
10 January 2006 @ 09:27 pm
for a moment there everything was out of place but suddenly its coming together. after telling joseph everything that was on my mind we weren't friends. saturday night i say him at the mall and just after walking around for 20 or so minutes, we became friends again. becca apologized today which meant alot, considering all thats hapenned i think now im ready for anything. harmony and taylor continue to be amazing, i love those kids. im dropping journalism next semester, i love it but its getting old. if i do stay id be in there for just the people, im not as into writing as i thought i was. saturday night was a blast and those who were there no why. p.s drunken pictures are the worst but then again the best, only because they are proof that you were actually there that night. yeah so three day weekend coming up. my parents gone. tays parents gone. what more can you ask for? friday is friday the 13th, good thing im not supersticious.

Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
05 January 2006 @ 01:40 pm
In the library with Katie. Phsyced for tomorrow..and oh but wait, tonigh too. Slack-Attack's game and then boys game tomorrow. Exciting. Hecter's going with me. I'm thankful it's only a three day week. It's been tough. Joseph's not answering my phone calls. He's acting like an immature little girl. Screw him I say. Screw him.

Current Mood: busy
03 January 2006 @ 05:55 pm
I'm starting to realize that people I thought I wanted in my life, I suddenly want to push them out. Winter break was amazing, almost too much fun for words. I'm happy that Taylor and Harmony and I became so close. Though I'm sort of bummed break is over, I'm actually really ready to go back to school. Finals and then only one more semester until graduation. I'm starting to feel like I want to push people away knowing that they probally want the same. Could it be that I just happen to be friends with people who aren't any good for me. Some people never change, sometimes I wish they would. I really like this boy, if only he could make up his mind what he wants. There is NO SUCH THING as bisexuality, it's just the people who want the best of both worlds.
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: The Clash
30 December 2005 @ 12:58 pm
Seeing the people you never thought you would see in a place you thought you would never be at. Four dollars for water. Toothaches. No makeup but still looking good. Cops. Passing out. Carls Jr. Jr., a smaller version of the actual Carls Jr. Friends, Dancing, Crowds, Smoke, Music.

Now that I am realizing the year is nearly over, I'm starting to get sad. 2005 has been an amazing year. Even though some shit hapenned, it was still a good year. I just hope 2006 will be good for me. I mean it has to be right, I'm graduating.

In 2005 I ?

*Broke a promise? many

*Made a new best friend? lost a best friend, but made alot of good friends.

*Fell in love? no

*Fell out of love? yes

*Did something you swore never to do? yes

*Lied? yes

*Stole? no

*Went behind your parents back? yes

*Cried over a broken heart? yes

*Dissapointed someone close? yes

*Hid a secret? yes

*Pretended to be happy? yes

*Got arrested? no

*Kissed in the rain? yes

*Slept under the stars? no

*Had a birthday that sucked? no

*Kept your new years resolution? no

*Forgot your new years resolution? yes

*Met someone who changed your life? no

*Met one of your idols? no

*Changed your outlook on life? no

*Pretended to be sick? most likely

*Loved him/her knowing they didn't love you back? yes

*Left the country? no

*Almost died? no but felt like dying

*Given up something important to you? yes

*Lost something expensive? a friendship

*Learned something new about yourself? a lot of things

*Tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it? yes

*Made a change in your life? trying to

*Found out who your true friends were? YES

*Made a total fool of yourself? yes

*Met great people? yes

*Got addicted to myspace? as always

*Thought he/she was the love of your life? no

*Got in a car accident? no

*Fell in love with a teacher at school? lno

*Broke a bone? no

*Went to the ER or you were admitted to the hospital? yes

*Nearly died of laughter? yes

*Gave up on love? for now
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
25 December 2005 @ 11:54 pm
-I'm a spoiled brat.
-My parents will never change.
-I really love San Fransisco.
-My friends mean the world and back to me.
-Without the internet, my ipod and my cell phone I would die.
-Being a teenager is actually fun sometimes.
-I'm a slut when I'm drunk...well..yeah.
-I won't see Joseph until next year..hah.
-Cigarette burns suck.
-I'm judgemental.
-Maybe I'm not as eager to leave Ventura as I thought I was. Then again..maybe I am.
-Rain is an inconvinience.
-Friends aren't friends when the going gets tough.
-People are immature.
-Christmas can be both happy and sad.
-My friends will have my back through ANYTHING.
-fuck becca malan...yeah.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: gwen steffani..yep.
23 December 2005 @ 04:15 pm
fuck..why did you do that?

you just ruined EVERYTHING.
21 December 2005 @ 09:48 pm
So tonight was amazing.

...and it's about to get even better.
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Deathcab
20 December 2005 @ 10:23 am
So it really was quite a downer going to Arizona, I never thought something like that could get me so down. But I survived, after a constant 3 days off and on visiting family in the hospital, I pray I never get sick. I ended up having to come home alone because my Dad had to stay an extra day. So I got back to Ventura at about 1:30 and I was so relived. Actually come to think of it the moment the flight attendant said: "Once again thank you for flying Southwest, as always we enjoy spending part of our day with you, and welcome to Los Angeles." I nearly had to control myself from jumping out of my seat, I am so so so glad to be home. I hungout with Becca yesterday, we went to the mall and than she slept over. I had so much fun, I hadn't seen her in like a week and a half because I was so sick. Today I don't know what wer'e doing..I'm waiting for Kaitlyn Slack-Attack to come over hah. Tonight I'm hanging out with Taylor which will be a lot of fun. Tomorrow I don't know what I'm doing and then tomorrow night I'm going to dinner. Yay.
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: nothing